Call Him Ed Jackson Because He Couldn't Get the Win

So you may remember last week when the Nats signed Ed Jackson to a one-year $11 million deal. You can debate if he's worth the money or not, but it really depends on what you're expecting. For the Devil Rays, he was frustratingly inconsistent, but since then he's shown flashes of brilliance. Either way, he's going to make Rays fans angry, so there's that.

The bottom line on the acquisition though is that even at his worst, he's still a more-than-solid fourth starter in the NL.

But this begs the larger question. Now the Nats' rotation looks like this:

1. Strasburg
2. Gonzalez
3. Zimmermann
4. Jackson
5. Wang/Lannan/Detwiler

Notice anything? Those are five legit starters for their slots, especially for the NL, and none of them have nicknames.

This is unacceptable. It is a rhyme against humanity that they don't all have awesome nicknames. Why? I'll tell you why.

With awesome nicknames comes hazing. With hazing comes sticking up for each other. With sticking up for each other comes team identity. With team identity comes unlikely rallies and comeback wins. With comeback wins comes playoff spots. With playoff spots comes baseball boners. We love baseball boners.

Like hilarious jokes, the best nicknames always spring from a kernel of truth, so throughout the Spring, we'll be watching the clubhouse shenanigans and looking for opportunities to slap some monikers on the Nats starters. It's up to us people.